Stay for the Marriage

October 29, 2009 Leave a comment

I recently watched a sitcom that I normally flip right past.  It wasn’t because there was nothing else on, but because this particular episode was about a wedding between two of the main characters.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a 30-minute TV comedy, a movie or even a pro wrestling event, if you want people to tune in, you can’t go wrong with a wedding. 

There is something that fascinates us about two people getting married.  When news of an engagement breaks, we share in the excitement of the happy couple.  It’s contagious.  We can’t wait for them to march down the aisle and make it official.  There is real emotion there for these people, and it’s not just over the heave hors d’oeuvres that await us at the reception.  However, our involvement often ends around the time the food runs out.

Just like on TV, when two people we know are just married, they can become just married to us.  We love them, but somehow our excitement dies down.  We showed our support with toasters and waffle irons, but are now back to business as usual.  Why aren’t we more involved?

One of the things I did last Christmas when I sent out cards was give a little something extra to two couples I know who had gotten married earlier that year.  It was their first Christmases together as husband and wife, and I wanted them to have a small token to use for a date night or however they wished.  I share that only to truly share it.  Maybe that’s a way you can show you’re there for the married people in your lives.

Why don’t we do more with the covenants we are a part of, such as marriage; or when someone in our congregation gives his/her life to Christ?  We all have a part in encouraging those around us to continue down the right path.  What are we doing with this?  Are we just checking in for the wedding and reception, and then checking out for the thing these commemorate?  Maybe the next engagement we get news of should bring forth a little bit of the feeling of, Where am I going to find the time?  And with that, feelings of responsibility.  We’re in this together.  Remember that with the newlyweds and the new-in-Christ you know.  Don’t just eat a piece of chicken and leave: stay for the marriage.

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Uncomfortable with Being Comfortable

October 14, 2009 Leave a comment

Do you know what disturbs me?  We have the ability to customize our lives to meet our every satisfaction.  Provided I have the money to buy a car, I can get a green Honda Accord with leather interior seating.  When I go to McDonald’s, I can get a Big Mac without pickles, even though they’re mentioned in the jingle.  I have over a hundred television channels to choose something to watch from and over a hundred different churches in my area I can choose to worship at.  Of all the options at our disposal at any given time, it’s natural for us to select the things that fit us best.  It’s what we do with that power with the bigger things in life (such as said church selecting) that I cannot rest with seeking my own comfort.  When it comes to God, no matter how crazy it may be, my desire is to dwell in the things He wants for me, no matter how discomforting they are.  And, even though I let it win a lot, I am uncomfortable with being comfortable.

I love the church I’m a member of.  I’m attracted to it because of the casual environment, the contemporary music, the practical message, and the lack of having to change the way I dress and conduct myself for a fraction of one day each week.  That’s why I’m attracted to it, but that’s not why I love it.  I love it because I’m challenged to be something more than a country club member.  By that, I mean I am engaging in authentic relationships and fellowship with other believers and non-believers alike who are on a journey together to be transformed by the Almighty God.  I’m inspired to grow, stretched to serve, and called to love.   

I have a few questions for you.  If you go to church, are you happy with where you go?  Do you love it?  Finally, what do you love about it?  You may not be able to say about your church what I can say about mine.  That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with where you go, but your intentions may be off.  Maybe you’re content with the comfort you experience at your church.  Maybe you’ve selected a place to worship, or have grown up in a place to worship, that you can tolerate long enough to meet your “needs,” but does not affect the way you live your life.  You are comfortable with the way you are, and you have found a church custom fit with where you are, and being there is in your comfort zone.  For you, that may work.  For me, I just can’t settle for that.

I’ve stuck with the example of selecting a church here, but I hope if you have read this and that example does not apply to you, you replaced it with what did.  If not, give it a try.  It’s great that we can make customizations with certain things in our lives.  However, I challenge you not to settle for anything less than discomfort in the things that matter most.  You don’t grow when you’re comfortable, only when you’re stretching.  Our goal should be Christ-likeness, and none of us this side of Heaven have accomplished that.  There is room to grow, so get uncomfortable.

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New Leader? Prepare to Screw Up

October 7, 2009 2 Comments

Last Thursday night’s episode of The Office where Jim began his position as co-manager was brilliant to the point of personal.  It hit home to me because I saw a lot of what happened to him as a reminder of my year in a position of leadership in college.  For those who missed it, Jim went from being a favored colleague to the sales staff to a manager struggling between direction and maintaining good morale overnight.  If you’ve recently become a leader, prepare for this to happen to you, and prepare to screw up.

I often think of my year as a student leader of a campus ministry as one of the most difficult, most challenging, and most beneficial years of my life.  The year leading up to my presidency in this ministry was totally awesome.  I got along great with just about everyone who came through the doors.  I took on a position as Communications Leader and continued to grow into that role really well, having fun doing it.  I was also drastically maturing as a disciple, and life was just good.  The year ended with me answering God’s call to become President the following year.  That’s when things began to change.

I was excited about what the next school year would bring.  I have a visionary mind, and there were a lot of ideas floating around in it; a lot of things I knew would work because, after all, they’re visions.  Right?  This was about to the best year ever.  Right?  Well, it would’ve been had I done more letting go and worked with the team of awesome people God had given me.  Instead, my downfall as President was that I always wanted the final say to be MY final say.  Not healthy at all!  In retrospect, the previous year sure would’ve been horrible had I not gotten to pitch in ideas to the President at the time.  Yikes!

I can’t pinpoint one thing about that year and call it the root of all my screw-ups.  However, a main factor was the self-induced pressure I was putting on myself to be the best leader possible.  I wanted to stay on top and sound like I knew the best way to go at all times.  When I became President, I didn’t remain a member of the team . . . I somehow became a guy who felt he had to prove something, and someone whose ideas should take precedence always.  At the risk of sounding corny here, I will say that “president” does not equal “precedence.”  We’re all in this together.

Hopefully Jim will find his way in upcoming episodes of The Office.  More importantly than a written TV show, hopefully you will find yours with those you are leading.  Yes, prepare to screw up, but don’t give up examining yourself and growing from your mistakes.  God is there with you every step of the way.

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